I had another opportunity to wear the $7.48 black dress last weekend. It was a wedding reception for two dear friends who got married in Honduras last August. It took place at a beautiful ranch, and most people had to park and walk, but not me! They had a special area for the soon-to-be Mamas...

9 Months Pregnant IN the New Dress

OK, I promised a 9 month pregnant picture of me in the black dress at my husband's 20th class reunion, so here it is:


It was strange meeting all these old friends of Brett's who are brand new people to me, in this 9 month pregnant package I'm wearing. The good thing is, next time I meet any of them they'll think "Wow, she's really lost weight, I remember her being a lot bigger." With my purse hanging there it really looks like I'm 3 feet wide!

Isn't Brett cute! He keeps reminding me this is temporary. And it is, as of today I have 21 days to my due date, and I'm guessing Baby G will come early, so 2 to 3 weeks to go.

Nine Months Pregnant and a New Dress

I'm 37 weeks pregnant. I could burst any day. If you read my post a few weeks ago with the belly pictures, I'm EVEN BIGGER now!

So guess what... My husband's 20 year class reunion is this weekend, starting tonight. I'm going to meet all of these people Brett has been telling me about for years, for the first time tonight, and I'm 50+ pounds over my normal weight. Yesterday I realized I have nothing to wear (my daily maternity stretch pants won't cut it for this event). Brett informed me he's wearing a suit. A SUIT!

I don't want to spend any money on clothes right now. Trying anything on at this point is a sad and self-defeating event. My chiropracter suggested I go as a Jack-O-Lantern, but this isn't a Halloween party!

I was considering my dilema as I ran my errands yesterday. I was at Target when I walked by the maternity section. There was a 75% off rack. I couldn't help myself, I dove in and grabbed every massive maternity dress on the rack!

The dressing room is a scary and comical place at 9 months pregnant. Most of the large dresses fit me like Saran Wrap. However, there was one large maternity dress, all black, knee length, not 100% polyester, that fit. I admit it looks like a tent from the belly down, but I prefer tent over saran at this point. I looked at the tag. $7.48. It's a deal!

I now have a dress. I'll have someone take a picture of me in it tonight any you can laugh too after I post it tomorrow!

My Big Belly, a "Tweener" and the PTA Meeting

I can't see my feet. My legs either for that matter. If I bend waaay waaay over I can see my toes though. I haven't been doing that very often lately and last night at the PTA meeting things got a little embarassing.

Here's the deal...I'm 32.5 weeks pregnant. I've gained 50 pounds. My once delicate 5' 8" 135 pound body is edging dangerously near the 200 pound mark on my scale. I've stopped wearing skirts (unless I have tights underneath) because my thighs rub together when I walk, which causes a very uncomfortable heat rash in the 100 degree Texas weather. Putting on underwear has become a real challenge. I can't see the leg holes, and balancing these extra 50 pounds on one foot is no small task.


This is what I see when I look down:

So back to the PTA meeting. I wore a knee length dress. I sat down next to a nice looking couple. At some point I started looking around, as tends to happen at these extremely uneventful meetings. Anyone with an attention span of less than 60 minutes is scanning the room for something stimulating to look at. I noticed the man two chairs away staring at my legs. This wasn't a polite or lusty type of stare. This was a slightly puzzled looking type of stare. I tapped into his brain and heard his thoughts clearly...


"Hmmm, she has a nice face, she looks like she's about to burst... I wonder when the last time she shaved her legs was, not to mention those terribly neglected toes."


Then he saw me seeing him and he held my gaze for a second. I looked down at my legs and thought...

"Oh my! When was the last time I shaved my legs???"

This is what I see when I look down and bend waaay waaay over... toes!


While all of this was going on my 10 year old 5th grade daughter, Josiah, and my husband, her step-father, Brett, had another conversation going on. Brett saw an interesting looking 5th grade aged boy. He asked Josiah who that boy was.



We haven't quite figured out what kind of questions are acceptable to our 5th grade "tween", but asking about boys is a cardinal sin worthy of intense fury and hours of grudge holding.

When I looked back at the two of them (while trying to hide my overgrown leg hair under my chair) I could see there was a problem.



"What's going on?" I asked Josiah.

"Brett's mean!" she insisted. "He's acting suspicious!"

I looked at Brett, he shrugged and looked confused. Brett is one of the most straight forward people I've ever known. Suspicious is not a term I would use for him.

In the car on the way home I dug a little deeper.

"What was it that Brett did that was suspicious, Josiah?" I inquired.

"He was asking suspicious questions about that boy!" she fired back.

"I just asked his name." Brett threw in hesitantly.

"Do you like this boy?" I pried, thinking I had gotten to the core of the issue.

"NO!" Josiah shreiked "Kinzey does!" (Kinzey is Josiah's BFF)


So that was that. I'm not sure what the PTA meeting was supposed to be about, but I did return home with some important lessons learned.


1. I still need to shave my legs and paint my toenails in the last two months of pregnancy if I intend to wear knee length skirts in public places.


2. Never expect a 10 year old 5th grade girl to be reasonable about boys. (we never did get his name)


3. I'm really greatful to have the kind of husband who can live with a very pregnant woman and a tween girl and love us unconditionally. I can only imagine how challenging it is sometimes.